Josh for President!

Vote November 4

Disclaimer: if you can not handle laughing at political issues please avoid this post. As it may increase your blood pressure and cause uncontrollable hyperventilating both of which have been known to cause spontaneous urination.
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My husband has decided to become a write-in candidate.
HERE IS HIS PLATFORM
(1) "Press 1 for English" will be immediately banned. English is the official language; speak it or wait at the border until you can.
(2) We will immediately go into a two year isolationist posture to straighten out the country's attitude. NO imports, no exports. We will use Wal-Mart's policy, 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.'
(3) When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on them.
(4) All retired military personnel will be required to serve a six month tour, to man one of our many observation towers on the southern border. They will be under strict orders not to fire on any SOUTHBOUND aliens.
(5) The Social Security Fund will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nothin' in, you ain't gettin' nothin' out. Neither the President nor any other Politician will be able to touch it.
(6) Welfare Checks will be handed out on Fridays at the end of a 40 hour school week with the successful completion of urinalysis test and proof of a passing grade.
(7) Professional Athletes -- The FIRST time you test positive for steroids you're banned from professional sports for life.
(8) Crime - We will adopt the Turkish method, the first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There will be no more life sentences. If convicted of a murder, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for your victim, i.e. gun, knife, strangulation, etc.
(9) The United States will export one resource: wheat. The world does need to eat, after all. A bushel of wheat will be traded for the asking price of a barrel of oil.
(10) All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will cease immediately. The moneys saved will first pay off the national debt. Once this is accomplished taxes will be immediately decreased.
(11) When a disaster occurs around the world, we'll ask the American people if they want to donate to a disaster fund. Each citizen can make the decision whether it's a worthy cause.
(12) The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day in every school in America and every day in the Congress, Senate and House of Representative.
(13) The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.

No Apologies. A vote for my husband will get you better than what you have and better than what you'd get. Thanks for listening, and remember to write in my husband on the ballot on November 4th.

God Bless America!
Josh for President!!!!!!!



This message was sponsored by the candidate and his Trophy Wife and we both approve this message.

Thanks Bill Cosby for allowing us all to laugh.

Thirty-something Already

And enjoying it.
Yep. I am thirty-something. Not because I refused to say my age; I simply do not remember my age. I feel young, I still run for the fun of it, and exercise not because I have to but because I want to, I am a mom, and a wife, I work part-time, and learn something new every day.

I made it to my thirties only to find out I am blissfully flawed.

I am married.
A mother of three…girls.

Sometimes I think about what I thought I'd accomplish before I turned 30 and can't help but laugh. The 180 degree turn I've taken is so refreshing. I could be pounding my head against the 'glass ceiling' on some corporate ladder, but instead I am banging my foot on the toys scattered throughout the house. That's me, thirty-something and enjoying it.

A to Z and how we got there

Did I mention before that I cannot do nothing? Oh, and that I am super competitive? Well, here is a perfect example of both. You know the game where one person begins with the letter A and adds an item to a list with that particular letter? People go back and forth or around and around, adding items for each subsequent letter, until they've reached the end of the alphabet. Well, my part-time job has become fairly routine, meaning I feel as though I am doing nothing, so my co-worker and I recently played this game with an added twist: we had to have two words for each letter. I do have to admit that, in my super competitive state, I was slightly dejected that my co-worker was not interested in completing the game. Gasp! Not finish the game? But we started it, how can we not finish it?! Reluctantly, I agreed to add W,X,Y, and Z as one final letter, a disappointing compromise, but at least I got to finish the game.

Here is our list….

We are going on a picnic and we are taking a...

Zealous zoologist and
Yodeling Yolanda who
X-ray xylophones and
Wipe watermelons while they
Vex vampires and
Unexpectedly urinate. Then
Trim their toenails and
Slowly Salsa with
Red rhinoceroses who
Quietly quilt and
Pay people who are
Overly optimistic and
Nod naughtily. After they
Move mountains they
Lay lazily. Then
Knife kites and
Juggle jacks and
Ice igloos while they
Hinder Hippos that
Guard Gorillas who
Find Flowers and
Eat eggplants then
Dip doughnuts and
Cut cucumbers and
Bake banana bread and
Add almonds.

It's great fun.

Give it a try.

Adorable & Mine (part2)

OK. Now for what was really happening:

Yes, this is a 'Mock Studio' set up in any location where the sun is shining into my house, but not directly on my subjects. This particular day was in my dining room with the sun entering through the deck doors. I typically use dark fabrics right off the bolts, with maybe a stitch or two, but this backdrop happens to be a set of sheets and was a clearance buy (to use for this photo shoot). I clip the backdrop with the oversized office paper clips to (Shhh...don't tell Josh!) the oversized screens that I take out of the front room windows. I use the sunlight, because the girls and I have such intense red eye that I avoid using the flash. OK, now the fun begins. The girls know what I want, will they cooperate? And who to 'torture' first? Jordan and Andi caught me before I had the chance to put their clothes on, so they willingly posed for these….

Commence wardrobe change, followed by a gentle hair pulling, tying, and face washing rite-of-passage, all of which are presumed forms of torture in our house, at least by the amount and volume screaming and wailing. Why is it that I picture Wesley trapped in the Pit of Despair with an albino rat-man that clears his throat while saying, "Don't even think about escaping."? Strange correlation I know, but sometimes I feel like they know it will end and if they would just sit still, there would be less "torture."

Dillon First

Who is completely oblivious to the camera and more intrigued by the chair. So I introduce bubbles and now I can't hold the camera still enough to focus. UGGGHH! To any gift givers listening, Mama needs a 6' tripod.

Then Andi Who is more interested in popping the bubbles than just watching them.

Then Jordan

Who wants nothing more than to please me and is so ridged that I am convinced her muscles will be sore for next three days.

Then all Three
This is when I begin asking myself if I am of sound mind.

Forget it.

We move outside to the deck, 'mock studio' and all. It is an overcast day and almost perfect for picture taking. If only my subjects were willing.

Tears.

Bribery.

Silliness.

All while, I am holding the camera and blowing bubbles, or making wired noises to attract the baby's attention. It sounds something like this: "Jordan sit still. Andi please stop reaching for the bubbles. Dillon pllllleeeeassse look at mommy. Don't smile, do smile. Don't look at me, okay now look at me. Laugh. No don't laugh. Look this way, now look that way. Jordan please just sit still. Andi I don't want your hand in front of Dillon. Or Jordan. Dillon, look this way. AAACCHHHOO. AAABUGGGGAAABUGGGAAABUGGGA. Jordan SIT STILL. Andi PUT your hands DOWN. Dillon. DILLON. DILLON."

I do use the rapid shutter feature on my camera so I can take a multitude of sequential pictures and then pick the best.

I am typically pleased with the pictures when I look at the end result, but why do I torture myself? To save a buck. I find it truly difficult to pay someone to get almost the same results. I study magazine pictures and look at photography books in the library to get new ideas on how to pose the girls. I also steal idea from the pictures my friends bring home from the studio.

Please join me in praying for peace, understanding, comfort and healing as a dear friend grieves the unthinkable of loses; a baby born into God’s arms. This post is in memory of those who have gone before us, especially those little who we wish wouldn’t have.

Adroable & Mine