Grandmas Marathon

I did it! I did it in less than five hours! I will loose five toenails! And, yes, I would do it all over again.

Have I ever mentioned that I have Claustrophobic Tendencies and that in tight places I go slightly CRAZY? The mass created by 5000+ people was quite overwhelming, and I couldn’t tell you how many times throughout the race I had to talk myself out of a panic attack, whether fighting over the few slivers of shade along the side of the road or grabbing lukewarm cups of water from moving targets. Feeling the need to throw a few elbows and the unseasonably HOT weather made me extra grateful that I was simple able to complete the race in just less than five hours.

I am still on a high and can’t quit comprehend that I actually completed a Marathon. But my infected and brutally sore big toes continually remind me that they were pushed to limit.

Everybody’s favorite question is “Would you do it again?” The answer is, yes! Especially if it means my sister would join me.

Confession

I know I mentioned that I am a perfectionist, but did you really truly understand or consider what that meant? Probably not. Maybe through this confession you will gain an understanding, however I do not think you could ever realize just how obsessed I am with perfectionism. Confessing my use of an editor will not release any of my anxieties, in fact it may do the exact opposite. But it will allow me to blog more freely and timely. My Confession: I have had my posts edited. Now I am releasing her from that duty. So I ask you, in advance, to be gentle with your critiques. I apologize for my postings, re-postings and deleting of posts because of my typos, grammar errors, and downright foolishness in my quest for perfectionism (now free from an editor's eye). I am looking forward to the opportunity to blog more impulsively with the knowledge that I will create and make mistakes along the way, and that you will notice.

P.S. Don’t worry, I am unable to critique others' writings; that is why I used an editor.

Setbacks Build Confidence

I experienced my first true disappointment in my quest for running the Grandmas Marathon yesterday. It was the day marked on my training calendar for 20 miles, a day I had been preparing for. To make sure there was no way to avoid the full 20 miles, I decided to run home from church; the long way. Mistake number one was leaving at noon, making the shade scarce as the unforgiving sun beat directly down; I began to pray for big fluffy clouds to block the hot yellow beast. Mistake number two was underestimating the slight breeze; the unrelenting gusts of 13mph plus crosswinds threatened to push me out of the shoulder and into on coming traffic. The third mistake was skipping lunch, the hunger pains I experienced were probably moderate at best, but coupled with excessive heat and threatening winds it felt much more extreme. These three things served up a well loaded can of Whip A$$ turning my 20 mile run into a grueling 15 mile survival hike complete with a KFC stop for a glass of ice and my Knight in Shinning Armor coming to my rescue...Although I willingly climbed in the truck, I know I could have walked the remaining 5 miles, but I was already mentally defeated and didn’t need to add ruining my average to the list of setbacks. Josh commented on not working hard enough to be soaked in sweat, but I was eager to explain that the wind licked away any moisture before it could be accumulated. All-in-all I remain confident I can complete the 26.2 miles, and that I can do so in less than 5 hours, so apparently not all was lost.

Annoyed by the Small Things

Recently, as I was sorting through a mound of laundry I became increasingly aware of the articles of the clothing I was turning right side out. And with each piece, I became a little more agitated, thinking that some people could be a little more considerate by taking two seconds to right these items before throwing them into the laundry. So I started tossing these items in a pile to prove a point and to allow the guilty party the opportunity to endure the consequences. Right?

Well, life right now allows me to be home during the days and work in the evenings. I use the term 'stay-at-home' loosely, because Josh says I do not actually stay-at-home, which has some truth to it. What this means is that Josh is stripping the girls' clothing and putting them into pajamas almost every evening. In the mornings I am removing their pajamas and putting them into clothes for the day.

Okay, back to JUSTICE…As I am separating the laundry, I am becoming more and more aware of the fact that the clothing I am tossing into the consequences pile, over and over again, are the pajamas and undershirts. Occasionally, I was relieved to see a shirt or a pair of pants, but when I thought about when they were removed it was I that hastily removed the garment and tossed it into the laundry basket. Not Josh. Talk about being annoyed by the small things. Even when it comes to laundry the guy is one step ahead of me. I definitely got a good one.

The Slaughter House

Consider this a warning to the squeamish: this post contains images involved with processing meat.

Hunting season always brings the fear of, "What if...he really does shoot a deer?"

Unfortunately, Josh brought home two deer this season! So our garage once again turned into a slaughter house. Josh worked a couple of seasons processing deer and has slowly accumulated the tools deemed necessary to accomplish this task at home. For the two or three husbands that were forced into reading this post, now is the time to be jealous, very jealous. This year he got to pull out the over-powered motor to hook up to the way-too-big-grinder: power tools to process venison. A man will do anything to increase speed.

But let me tell you, I was beyond impressed. We accomplished in one night what has previously taken us an entire week. Josh was able to grind over 90lbs of venison in less than an hour while I struggled to keep up with wrapping and labeling. The sounds of the power tools, the hum of the bullet-heater as it increased the temperature in the garage to a comfortable 70 degrees, the whine of the motor as it spun the over-sized fly wheel on the way-too-big grinder, all helped to drown out the sucking noise as the venison entered the grinding shaft. Josh still will not confess the true per-pound-cost of the venison that fills our freezer, which should include the hotel, shooting range, and power tools, etc., but I am non-the-less pleased at the opportunity for us to bond, and I am certain James Dobson would agree: A couple who process deer together will stay together.

Being Creative or Borderline Cheating…

I agreed to be apart of Julie's 500 Mile Club and I have developed a plan in which I am certain to come out victorious and one that will hopefully encourage the rest of you into joining My idea of a 500 Mile Club. I have converted everyday situations into miles…

Dusting for 30 minutes equals a half a mile
Washing the windows for 30 minutes equals half a mile
Filling/emptying the dishwasher or doing the dishes for 30 minutes equals a half a mile
Vacuuming for 30 minutes equals a half a mile
Sweeping for 30 minutes equals a half a mile
Moping with a mop for 30 minutes equals half a mile
Shoveling for 30 minutes equals 1 mile
Mowing the grass for 30 minutes equals 1 mile
Raking for 30 minutes equals 1 mile
Gardening for 30 minutes equals a half a mile
Hoeing for 30 minutes equals 1 mile
Wrestling with children (putting on winter apparel constitutes wrestling) for 30 minutes equals a half a mile
Sledding for 30 minutes equals 1 mile
Folding/putting away laundry for 30 minutes equals a half a mile

Because it is necessary to count for something…

Scrapbooking for 30 minutes equals one tenth of one mile

And last but not least…

Blogging for 30 minutes equals one tenth of one mile


I am convinced that if you calculate all of these events and the number of times they are actually performed everyone could complete 500 miles worth of activities in a reasonable amount of time, all of which would count towards gaining the bodily figures we so desire. Creativity is the only way I can successfully accomplish this task.

Please feel free to add other suggestions into my comments. Now get moving and start tracking your 500 miles.

A to Z and how we got there

Did I mention before that I cannot do nothing? Oh, and that I am super competitive? Well, here is a perfect example of both. You know the game where one person begins with the letter A and adds an item to a list with that particular letter? People go back and forth or around and around, adding items for each subsequent letter, until they've reached the end of the alphabet. Well, my part-time job has become fairly routine, meaning I feel as though I am doing nothing, so my co-worker and I recently played this game with an added twist: we had to have two words for each letter. I do have to admit that, in my super competitive state, I was slightly dejected that my co-worker was not interested in completing the game. Gasp! Not finish the game? But we started it, how can we not finish it?! Reluctantly, I agreed to add W,X,Y, and Z as one final letter, a disappointing compromise, but at least I got to finish the game.

Here is our list….

We are going on a picnic and we are taking a...

Zealous zoologist and
Yodeling Yolanda who
X-ray xylophones and
Wipe watermelons while they
Vex vampires and
Unexpectedly urinate. Then
Trim their toenails and
Slowly Salsa with
Red rhinoceroses who
Quietly quilt and
Pay people who are
Overly optimistic and
Nod naughtily. After they
Move mountains they
Lay lazily. Then
Knife kites and
Juggle jacks and
Ice igloos while they
Hinder Hippos that
Guard Gorillas who
Find Flowers and
Eat eggplants then
Dip doughnuts and
Cut cucumbers and
Bake banana bread and
Add almonds.

It's great fun.

Give it a try.